I Cry Everytime.....

So Facing the Giants has ended up being one of my favorite movies, despite the volunteer acting. As we get ready to start this new adventure of starting City Community Church, I guess I am a little sentimental in all God has shown us, given us and provided for us.I can't quit now. There is work to be done. I cry every time I watch this clip....If God has given you the gift of leadership, or whatever the gift is He has given you...don't waste it. Watch my
favorite clip....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RekmSBA1NK8/

Where does the time go.....

As many of you already know...I am a home school mom. School has started and as usual I have dropped off the edge of the earth. Although I enjoy the job of schooling, I often look around at the clock and the calendar and think, where did all my time go. However, I am counting this as a blessing. When 12-24 months have gone by quickly and we finally get our match for our lovely Philippine Princess (or Prince) I will be able to think "Wow, that was fast! Where did the time go?"

On another note, I wanted to share a link to a blog from an acquaintance of ours who is adopting from Ethiopia. Her most recent post, sent me over the edge. http://adoptelliott.blogspot.com/2008/09/ignorance-outrage-and-stupid-people.html

I know, I know, I know

So I am a lousy blogger ;-) At least I can admit my shortcomings. There is so much going on in our lives and so much I could write about...but I am just trying to be still right now, and not speak. But an update....we got our letter that says we have been accepted as prospective parents by the Philippines (finally after 11 years I have been OFFICIALLY approved as a parent ha ha ). This means that our dossier is available for the social workers to look for a match. It still takes time though. We are still trying to raise funds, but are amazed at the miracles God has already provided for us.
Our prayer request for finances is this, that they would come through. We have applied for a grant and they are having a selection committee in September. Please pray for favor over our application to be accepted. This was God's idea and He will provide in His timing. Will someone keep telling me that please?!

It's Official!!!!

We just returned from an incredible missions trip to El Salvador, the second for Nathan and I, the first for our 10 year old son Connor. While we gone we received the official letter that our dossier has been received in the Philippines and they are now going over it with a fine tooth comb. Please pray for favor in this process......

under the overpass...

I just got done reading this book....Under the Overpass. Now I think it is one of the better books I have read in a long time. A woman at church said she had heard of it and asked me if it was "Phenomenal". My answer is this...if you are a person who wants to be inside the walls of the church and be fed and that is it; then you may not like this book. However, if you are looking to be CHALLENGED in all of your ideas about what God expects out of us as those who claim His name and what our responsibility is to those less fortunate than us...this book is for you.

YIPPEE!!!!!

We finally sent in our dossier invoice so it should be on it's way to the Philippines any day now!!!! YIPPPEEEE!!!!!

B.J, the Bear, Love and the Harsh Realities of Life

I have a wonderful friend...*Lolo. She is this amazing woman of God. She gets it, you know? She knows she is a child of the King, that He created her for His glory and pleasure, and that all rest and security is found in Him. I recently (out of guilt to someone else) sent her one of those crazy form emails; "Answer these 20 questions and send it back to your friend" (62 actually) Now there was this question. "What did you want to be as a child" My answer was "A truck driver. My favorite show was 'BJ and the Bear' and I wanted a pet chimpanzee and thought you had to drive a truck to have a chimpanzee" Funny right? Imagine how my parents felt when people asked their "princess" "What do you want to be when you grow up?" A truck driver!? Wow. Silly. **How proud they must have been!
Lolo's answer was way different. "What did you want to be as a child?" Her answer was "LOVED" UUUGGGHHH! She broke my heart. Lolo's family was abandoned by her father leaving her mother, who had a 6th grade education, to raise three kids on her own. Lolo's family was poor. She can remember nights wondering where her head would land and on what pillow. She remembers wondering where her next meal would come from (as an adult she began to hoard food, if she had one box of oatmeal she had ten). For a time there was very little order or stability in her life. This emptiness she felt eventually led her to an alternative lifestyle. Lolo came to find Jesus and He delivered her in ways she never thought possible. She married a wonderful man, has two great boys, and is a very Godly woman who is a real inspiration to many.
We are adopting because there are hundreds of thousands of children in this world that want just what Lolo wanted....to be loved. Oh, suffer the little children to come to me, Jesus said.
We chose international adoption but there are so many domestically that need love too. So what do we do? Jesus tells us to take care of the "widows and orphans" I think nowadays that includes single moms and kids from broken homes. Here are some links
Dave Thomas Foundation
Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America
Bethany Christian Services Adoption Agency
*Name has been changed to protect my behind
**No truck drivers were deliberately harmed in the writing of this blog

A "Quick" update

Ok, nothing is ever quick with me Ha Ha, I know this but....we went for more adoption training and what I determined is that adoption is NOT for the faint of heart but I am not faint at heart, therefore I am incredibly determined. The questions raised in my mind were ones I had not thought of before, and ones I will continue to "ponder in my heart" for many years to come. Some of them are to personal to share, others were just not thought of. Lots about the birth mom, she will always be there in my child's heart and you know I think I want my child to always be in hers. I realize now that there is only One who can fill the void caused by a sense of loss and rejection, because He experienced it! I know that I cannot do this with out Him. And I don't intend to!

And another thing...

In case you didn't know, ADOPTIONS ARE CRAZY EXPENSIVE!!! Now that isn't a complaint, just a fact. People had told me before that adoptions were expensive, you have no idea until it stares you in the face. God chose us to do this and we are willing, and He is willing to provide according to His riches. Oh and by the way, my Father owns the cattle on 1000 hills.
So we needed to send some paperwork in and needed about $100.00 and what do you know, the Lord laid it on someone's heart to give us $100.00 through our Paypal. And another thing, we have been saving to send out our dossier, and with our tax stimulus check (Thanks, George), we were exactly $1000.00 away from having the amount we need. A family we know told us they were not called to adopt (NOT AT THIS TIME GUYS tee hee) but they were called to support us and they donated, you guessed it, $1000.00.
Now, please know, I share this in all humility!!!!! Not to boast or seem prideful, but just to share what God is doing. When He calls us to do something, He equips us! There is no way on earth, Nathan and I could afford to adopt, without His resources, His economy. Your calling may not be to adopt, or even to support someone who is. But you do have a calling! Just remember, when He calls you, He gives you exactly what you need, when you need it, not sooner, not later, you just have to have faith.

Let the Little Children Come...with a better attitude!

Brace yourself, this could be a long one!
Wow! Yesterday was beautiful weather. Only the fifth dry day this month for our area. We took advantage of it too. After five weeks of LaGrange Family Chaos, traveling, work, school, injuries, and appointments, we really needed a quiet day. No cells, no texts, no emails, just us and nature. We took the kids to McCormick's Creek State Park, and for the most part had a great time. Nathan's brother, Aaron, and his lovely wife Sarah, live near by so we ate dinner with them. Now the best part of this deal was we got to see our two year old,ADORABLE nephew Sawyer. (Although we still love Aaron and Sarah ;-) This boy couldn't be any cuter. He is so full of life, and energy. We spent 30 minutes watching and laughing as he tackled a double dip ice cream cone, with a bug, a dog 10 times his size, and exploring everything with fresh eyes and a pure heart.
The funniest part about Sawyer is he is finding his independence. When Sarah would say tell him something, his usual retorts were, "No", "uh-uh", "I don't want to", "Daddy, help me", "Oh-wa, Man" (my personal favorite), and eventually end is "ALLLL-wite" we he realized Mommy was very serious about her instruction and he had better listen or face the consequences.
I don't always find spiritual lessons in everything but this one I did. How often do we hear the Lord direct us and just say "No. Uh-uh. I don't want to. Oh,Man!" Sometimes we may end our disobedience with "Alright, if I really have to". But then we spend the next month questioning whether we heard right, checking with our friends to see if we heard right, and seeking 14 confirmations to see if we heard right. When Jesus said we should become like children, I don't think that is what he meant ;-) I bet sometimes He thinks, like we as parents often do, "Will you just listen to Me already?" Jesus want us to listen, explore His will for our lives with fresh eyes and a pure heart. Our decision to adopt has definitely been a lesson in this for Nathan and I. This sure does take faith like a little child, for a little child.

PRESSURE!!!!!!!

AAAHHHH....two more days before I have to blog again.
Think, Tricia, think, think, think.......;-)

Lousy Blogger

Ok Ok Ok...yes I know I am a lousy blogger. That is so much my personality....I am great out out the gate and not much for stamina ;-) I would love to have a great spiritual analogy, some words of wisdom, some thought provoking idea....but to be honest...I just don't, it has been a very busy month, and I am mentally drained.
An update....we got a certified copy of our home study in the mail the other day and the kids laughed (in a scared way) as I danced around the kitchen doing the "stir the pot dance" (some call it the cabbage patch) as I sang "We're cool.... enough to get a baby".
Our dossier is done and ready to be mailed to the Philippines. I will let you know when that happens. And I promise to Blog...at least once a week.

Homestudy!

All right...for those of you who have been wondering. We had our home study on Monday March 31, 2008 and everything went smoothly. The lady was nice and helpful with our questions. So now, she writes her report and sends it off to the state and federal governments and then they will eventually send it off to the Philippines. We will have other things to fill out at somepoint, like getting fingerprinted among others. This is where the real test of faith begins. And finances. Please continue to pray with us that the Lord is faithful in our areas of finances and time frame.
We cling to His promise...Mercy to the needy is a loan to God and He will repay in Full.
PS...sorry I was feeling very creative today ;-)

$15,000 Faith

As I was stood ironing in our kitchen, my husband came in from a church service. He leaned against the pantry door and said "Soooooo....." I have come to realize after 12 years of marriage that "Soooo..." means something big just happened.
What follows in a skinnied down version of our conversation...my thoughts are in parentheses.

"So a lady came up to me and said the Lord had put me on her heart"
(Oh no, not again. God are you sending us to Africa to be missionaries?)
"She said the Lord said it was about finances."
(Ha, not anymore we have Dave Ramsey ;-)
"He told her there was something we were doing that we needed money"
(Ok this isn't a joke, Lord, this is about our adoption!) Sidenote: this is where I started to cry
"She showed me her check register Trish, she wrote me a check 2 weeks ago."
(Oh, Lord, that is when we scheduled our home study.)
"I have right here a check for 5..."
($5000.00?! Oh my gosh, Lord...this is...)
"$500.00! Can you believe that?"
"Wow!", I replied. "That is amazing! Don't laugh, but I honestly thought you were going to say $5000.00. I just know how well He has taken care of us, and the crazy things He has done for us before, and it just wouldn't have surprised me if it was $5000.00"
"You know Trish, I think if we have $15,000 Faith He would do that for us too."

So, by the way...$500.00 was exactly what we needed to add to what we had already saved, to pay for our home study. (that was a lot of prepositional phrases). I believe He will give us everything we need in this process, because we believe He led us in the direction and His Word says He WILL provide all of our needs according to His riches.
I ABSOLUTELY HAVE $15,000 FAITH! DO YOU???????

Ode to the Adoption Journey

Teeter Totter bread and Water, Oh, But this is high!
Now I'm low and up you go, Almost to the sky.

Teeter Totter Bread and Water, What a Merry Ride!
Hold on tight with all your might, or off the board you'll slide

Teeter Totter Bread and Water, How the wind does blow!
Fresh & Strong it comes along, As upward swift I go

Teeter Totter Bread and Water

TEETER: We got great news today. Our home study is officially scheduled for March 31! YEA!!!! (details of the celebration cleaning party at our house to come later;-) How exciting! This is what really gets the ball rolling. We are so excited I can't even begin to tell you.


TOTTER: We got some disappointing news today! Our agency, Hand in Hand, sent a letter out to day from the Executive Director of the Inter-Country Adoption Board of the Philippines basically saying "we currently have very few children available for inter-country adoption. This would mean that there will be a longer waiting period for child placement" Our agency tagged on "As other countries’ adoption programs have either closed or lengthened or become more costly, an increasing number of families have turned to the Philippine program. Because the Philippines is so much smaller in size and population, there are not nearly as many children available for adoption as there is, for example, in China. So it is understandable that wait times might increase"

Boy was that like a teeter totter of emotion. The thrill of flying up into the air and then the kid on the other end hopped off. WHAM! Remember that feeling? But you know I always got back on. The thrill of flying was to alluring to give up just because of some big bump.
It is disappointing to realize that what could have potentially been a 2 year wait could now be longer...but I serve a big God. He will expedite this process or better yet, may teach us something through the lengthening of the process. I have to come to realize one thing in the passed few years....whether I like it or not, I am not in charge and I just need to let go and trust the Lord in all situations.
Game on...this is going to be interesting to see what He is going to do!

Coincidence? I Think Not!

I've been thinking a lot about this adopting process. So many questions, so many logistics, so many things unforeseen. But one thing I know for sure, God knows it all. We have been praying throughout this short journey (I don't know how people do it without prayer, honestly, whew!). The crazy thing is we are praying for a child we have never met. One who, in all likelihood, is not even born, probably not even thought of yet, more than likely not even conceived yet! We are praying for this child's *biological parents, who don't even know we exist. Now, some may say that it is fate, or luck, or coincidence. But, God told the prophet Jeremiah this, "Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you." I believe the Word of God and I believe that He has set apart a man and a woman in the Philippines who will soon make one of the biggest decision of their lives. I believe He is forming a young life that has been set apart to be a part of The LaGrange family, and that is No coincidence. You see, we believe in the God, who formed us and knew us before we were born, who loves us, who cares what happens to us, who wants to have relationship with us, and that He doesn't make mistakes, and He definitely doesn't make "coincidences".
*I know the proper term is "birth parent" but since there probably isn't a "birth" yet in this scenario I decided to go with the less PC , but more accurate term, "biological parent" ;-)

Who's in Your Camp?

Moses. Aahhh, what a man! Born Jew, raised Egyptian "prince", trained warrior, rich, MURDERER (we always gloss by that with Moses), desert wanderer, radically saved, friend of God. Wow, he had a crazy past didn't he? Yet God chose to use him in not only a big way but in a very historical way also; and He called Moses friend and talked with him face to face. Moses knew a lot about God. Amazing. Now what does this have to do with an adoption blog you ask? You see God gave Moses a great idea....lead My people to the Promise Land. Sounds easy. But of course it wasn't...and why? Because of the people in his camp! (I am not going to go into the whole story, you can read it for yourself in Exodus...2nd book in the Bible) The people in the camp grumbled, complained, tried to turn back denying all the miracles they had seen God do to get them out of Egypt. Moses got SO frustrated with these people he eventually disobeyed God and he didn't get to lead them into the Promise Land....his right hand man did. Ouch! (just as a side note...I would have struck the rock too and been in the same boat as Moses, no pun intended)
Sometimes God gives you a great idea, you know it, you feel it in your bones, you are ready to run with it and then the people in your camp try to discourage you, to dissuade you, to make you question what you KNOW God has put on your heart. If that is happening to you can I just say....... MOVE!!!!! Alright, alright, I know "moving" isn't always realistic, but find a camp around you that will encourage you, believe in you, and believe God with you. Moses had Joshua and Caleb. Sometimes just a couple of positive voices will drowned out the rest of the sounds of the camp! Be on your face before God, knowing His will in the situation. Moses said "I am not moving an inch, God, if you don't move with me." (Exodus 33:14-17) You just listen to God, talk to Him "face to face" and let Him take care of the rest of the camp!!!!

What's keeping You Sane?

So, Nathan and I had to do a psychological evaluation for our adoption dossier.
For those of you who know us, you laugh and ask "Did you pass?" All right people! Enough of the jokes ;-) We spent 2 hours and filled in 587 bubbles of questions like "Do you want to kill yourself" "Do you want to hurt yourself" "Do you like criminals", "Do you think smart criminals should get away with their crime?", "Do you want to hurt animals?", "Do you want to hurt others?", "Do you feel like smashing things?" and our personal favorites, "Do you want to do the work of a park ranger?", and "Would you like to be a florist?". Basically, all of those question except the last two, (and that could be debatable) are HEART ISSUES. What keeps me from wanting to hurt others, hurt myself, smash things.....is it my inherent goodness, the thought that somebody might be watching or even my overwhelming feelings of responsibility to society? Maybe for some people that is what it takes, but for me, I honestly believe it is my relationship with Christ. The fact that He has made me a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!), that He has transformed my behavior and response process by the renewing of my mind through His love and His Word (the Bible) (Romans 12:2 Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is).
I may want to smash something but I know that instantly I can cast that thought before the Creator of the Universe and He can instantly change my heart and my sanity!!!
So what is keeping you sane? Is is just social responsibility or is it the transforming power of the God who created you and loves you? If it isn't the latter, let's chat, cuz I would like to introuduce you to the sanest Man I know!!!!!!

Elighten Me...Oh Gidget the Wise One...

If you have never met my friend Gidget, or Gidgie as we lovingly call her, I just tell people..."Picture in your head what a "Gidget" might look like and you probably have it!"

Gidgie is a laid back, funny, style all her own, determined, silly, beach bum kind of girl, not to mention a culinary wizard. Despite a challenging childhood; she has beat all the odds and become a beautiful wife, mother of 2 boys, amazing leader and friend. She'll tell you she is shy but she will step out to help anyone. She would not think that she is "wise" but she always speaks from a gentle and quiet spirit who has obviously been seeking the Lord's face and His Word to order her daily steps. The Lord has blessed her with discernment and incredible insight. I have sought the wisdom and advice from my good friend Gidgie many, many times over the years.

When I told her about our adoption plans, she didn't ask me if I was crazy like some others have. She had the best answer yet! (Paraphrase) "You know, Trish, more of us just need to step out in faith and live out on the edge. I think so many of us just stay in our comfort zone instead of stepping out into the plan that God has for us, because it could be potentially life altering. And we miss it! We go through life just missing out on something great." Gidget should know! She just left everything she has known for 15 years and packed up and moved to St John, Virgin Islands. Talk about stepping out in faith.

Thanks for the insight Gidgie, you have given me something to ponder on this journey....of life!
Miss you Gidg, and all of our Maritime Memories!

Year Verse.....

For several years now our pastor has been challenging us to pray about a verse for the year! If this is not something you do already, Nathan and I challenge you to pray and ask the Lord what verse He would lay on your heart for the year. It amazing to see what He will tell you...each year He shows me exactly what I need for the coming year. 2008 has been no different! Our family verse for 2008 is Proverbs 19:17...Mercy to the needy is a loan to God; and God pays back those loans in FULL! We will contintue to share the "mercy" God is showing the LaGrange family during our adoption journey. So here is another story.....

We have to have a psychologiacal evaluation (Why? to tell us what we already know with soon to be 4 kids in a 1500 squaare foot home...we are crazy! ha ha). This cost could be anywhere from $500-700. The Lord led us to someone who is going to help us with only a charge of $100....isn't He amazing!!!!!

And In This Corner......

We drove to Albion, IN, near Fort Wayne, this weekend. We met with Vickie, our caseworker (just glad her name isn't "Juno"). She was wonderful. We liked her because she was real and honest about everything, she didn't try to candy coat anything. The next step will be to schedule our home study and then after that all of the paperwork goes to the Philippine government and we wait...and wait...and wait...
For those of you who don't know this process can take anywhere from 12-24 months so bear with us. However, we do have the Creator of the Universe in our corner....we will take whatever His timing is because it is always perfect. I would rather be in His corner, than hanging out on the edge. (remind me of that in 12 months, will you?)

The Journey Begins

The first step...(after many other steps) we have to mail in our application. After pouring over it with a fine tooth comb you would think the mailing process would be the simple step. The kids and I took the camera and the application to the post office. After finally convincing Connor, our oldest, that it is totally normal to take pictures in the post office, we proceeded to the counter. Now lets see, do we do over night, certified, registered, insurance? The lady was so patient.....we get home....call Nathan at work to tell him "Mission Accomplished". He says, "And the agency fee was...this much, right?" Ummm...long pause...I realized I forgot to put the check in with the application. My reply "ummmhumm, yep, that is how much it cost" Not a lie...he asked if that was how much it cost...not if I put the check in. So I piled, now 5 kids ( I was babysitting) back into the car, rushed back to the post office, begged the lady at the counter to take what was now the property of the USPO and give it back to me so I could include the money for the application. Very typical Trish. Of course, that evening Nathan told me he knew my "ummmhuummm, yep" meant "Oh NO!!!!! I forgot that part" I guess we are off to a great start! :-) LOL!

You Didn't Say No....

I was dumbfounded. My mouth was agape, my eyes were wide, as I stared at the man I have known for 17 years, (and loved probably just as long) like he was someone new! Everything stopped around me. The noisy restaurant we were in on Sanibel Island, ceased to exist. The ocean, the bikes rides, the walks on the beach...poof...all gone for a moments time. I stammered. "You didn't say No! This is the first time you didn't say No! God's going to do something!"
So, backing up...I have had adoption on my heart for about three years now. No big revelation from God, no audible voice, just a sense of knowing, I have enough love in my heart to give to children who aren't from my womb! God just planted that little seed in me.
Nathan's seed was a study on justice and mercy and what that looks like in God's kingdom. Adoption was not a seed he was watering...especially in me. His typical answers to my adoption thoughts were...."No, We can barely handle the three we have" "No, I am gone a lot, I don't want to put that burden on you" "No, I don't want to have kids in the house when I am 50" "Look around you, where are we going to put another kid?" And when our kids were really acting nuts he would give me this look of.."And you want to add another child to this? NO!"
But Nathan is a man of God and believes His Word. He just couldn't get away from the fact that God told His followers to take care of widows and orphans...the fatherless...the poor. That commandment may take on a different form for many people; For the Nathan LaGrange family it meant adoption.
You all know the story is alot longer than this, God's stories always are, but I want this to be the longest entry you ever had to read on this blog....and it is getting too long.....
In August 07 we were blessed by God to go to Sanibel Island. I bought Nathan Tony Dungy's book Quiet Strength, (GO COLTS!) not knowing it had anything about adoption in it, to read while we were on vacation...and that was it. We were sitting at lunch, and I teasingly said something about, "Well, when we adopt a baby..." his reply was not "NO" It was "When the Lord tells me to adopt, that is what we will do." That was the first time he didn't say "NO"
God began to move on Nathan's heart...and here I sit today with my first appointment with our Adoption Agency pending this weekend.
I never nagged Nathan about adopting, I think that is important to know. It shows God moved, not my mouth ;-)
The Lord didn't say "No" either.